From Shadows to Sunshine

Disclaimer/Trigger Warning: This blog post discusses themes of emotional and verbal abuse which may be distressing for some readers. Please prioritise your well-being when choosing to read on. If you are experiencing or have experienced abuse, support is available, and you are not alone.

Each of us has defining moments in our lives, chapters that shape our journey and impart lessons learned the hard way. Here’s my story, which speaks not only of the challenges some of us face but also of the strength and resilience that lie within.

It began with a spontaneous night out, leading to waking up in a hotel room alongside someone I had just met. His morning compliment, "You’re so beautiful," might have been charming, had I not woken up with a dishevelled appearance. But what started as a mere compliment turned into a day filled with them. We spent the day together, and I was showered with flattering remarks I had unknowingly longed to hear. Each gesture, each compliment seemed like a promise of a brighter tomorrow.

Our relationship took off at lightning speed. With promises of eternal love, whirlwind dates, and extravagant gestures, it felt too good to be true. And perhaps, it was. A proposal came within a month, and we were wed a year later. However, the honeymoon phase faded swiftly. Alcohol unveiled a darker side to my partner, one that frequently reduced me to feeling worthless with cutting words and sharp rebukes.

Yet, eight years and three children into our marriage, a revelation awaited. Behind the four walls of our picturesque home lay a world filled with emotional and verbal abuse. But hope arrived in the form of therapy, encouraged by a caring friend. The sessions were transformative, illuminating the depth of the abuse I had endured and emphasising the importance of self-love and self-worth. In the end, I had enough self-love left to leave.

Sharing this is very difficult; it touches deep vulnerabilities. I sobbed the first time I was shown the violence wheel. As I read each section, I realised that was the life I had been living for over eight years. Caught up in a cycle that I couldn’t seem to escape. The violence I experienced wasn’t external but internal. The wounds he inflicted during our marriage were deep on the inside.

He never punched me, broke my bones, or made me bleed, although I was scared one day he would. At 24, I had three young children and a husband who would blame his explosive temper on work, the kids, alcohol but mainly he would blame me. Everything was my fault, at the time I honestly believed I couldn't do anything right.

I was told I was a hopeless driver, cook, cleaner, mother. I was called a slut, a whore, a bitch, and worse. I was told what to wear and how to act. I needed his approval for everything, down to the brand of butter we bought. It got to the point I didn’t know who I was anymore.

All I knew was fear, I feared his outbursts and rages, I feared him killing himself, I feared him killing me but what I feared more was the life I was exposing my children to. I did not want my son or daughters to think it was okay to treat anyone or be treated the way their father treated me.
I tried so many times to leave only to return with the promise he would change. Something within me knew he would never change. But still, I stayed believing that I was lucky that he loved me, who else would?

With the support of my family, I decided 'this time' I would definitely leave. I packed my most prized possessions in the car, went upstairs to grab one last thing and that is when he assaulted me. This was the first and last time he would physically hurt me.

He shoved me against a wall, my head smacked hard against it. I was left with countless bruises all over my arms where he had held me tight. I pushed him off with all my strength and turned to see one of my prized possessions staring at me. My son had gotten out of the car to look for me.

I’ll never forget the look on my seven-year-old boy’s face. The look of fear, sadness, anger, and confusion all rolled into one. That look was exactly how I felt for eight long years. My children gave me the strength I needed to stand up for them and myself. Due to this I was able to give a statement to police. As my son witnessed the domestic violence, the police were able to issue my now ex-husband a court summons for a DVO. After this, he moved overseas and we had no contact.

I left with nothing except a few clothes and photos. I had to rebuild my entire life. What I got to keep was far more precious and irreplaceable, our beautiful kids. They have grown into very happy, well-adjusted adults, reflecting the strength and resilience I could only dream of.

My journey through these dark times led me to my current work as a psychic medium, self-love coach, and personal stylist. It taught me the importance of setting boundaries and nurturing self-love, allowing me to guide others in their paths to healing and empowerment.

​If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, don’t keep it a secret. Speak out. There is hope, and you are stronger than you think. You deserve a life filled with love and respect. Embrace your story as a stepping stone to a brighter, self-empowered future.

Much Love, 
Gerlinda xx