The Comparison Curse
In the past I was always too afraid to show people the real me. I felt like an impostor wearing a mask, fearful of expressing my true self. The fear stemmed from a feeling of never being good enough.
When I let go my fears and began to express the real me, my confidence increased, people responded to me differently, I was even complimented on my authenticity.
It was like switching on a light bulb, when I was brave enough to be my true self the whole room lit up. I learnt that through being me and loving myself I was sharing my light with others; this gave those around me permission to do the same.
Shows like “The Voice” are a great example of seeing someone follow their passion and reach for the stars. There’s something exciting about watching people open up and express their true selves, it naturally inspires us to do the same.
There's a famous quote by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
A lot of fear, doubt and the sense I wasn't good enough, infiltrated my life due to comparisons.
Comparisons are a curse and a joy killer.
Comparisons had an impact on how I saw myself, there was a constant need to measure up. It left me feeling guilty because I was always making myself feel better or worse than someone else.
Comparisons are like being on a seesaw, you’re either below or above someone else. The seesaw only exists in our minds and when we become conscious of our comparing mind, we can let go of the judgement this creates.
A while ago there was a woman on my social media feed who wore so much makeup it made me think of her a fake and inauthentic. (Side note interestingly this was a self-projection based on my own feelings of being an imposter). This judgement stuck with me and I decided to reach out to send a positive message to counteract my negative thoughts.
I wrote to this woman and said, “I hope you’re well I was just thinking of you after seeing one of your posts and wanted to let you know it’s awesome how confident you are.” I received a beautiful reply and it made me realise how awful it feels to judge someone negatively and how wonderful it feels to change my perception to something good which resulted in me giving a compliment and her graciously accepting it.
I sent her gratitude for unknowingly teaching me a lesson and I forgave myself for judging.
I’ve learnt that forgiveness is the key to happiness. The first step to forgiveness is willingness. Forgiveness is not about tolerating or ignoring bad behaviour or restoring toxic relationships.
Forgiveness is the internal process of letting go. Forgiveness of yourself and others leads to profound healing. Heart healing enables you to feel more love, peace and freedom.
Join me on Saturday July 4 at 9am for my next free webinar and discover how forgiveness can bring more happiness to your life.
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